Bag Monster

As always, a generous air sickness bag afficionado comes along. Alex Kowatsch of Hamburg translates as follows:

Front: The Jackass Barf Bag

Back: What am I gonna do with a Jackass Barf Bag?

[First Picture] First, have a seat in your chair. Make sure your backrest is in an upright position, and that it's even there anymore. Then, shut up as the greatest movie of all times is about to begin. Silence anyone who is laughing already!

[Second Picture] Huh? You didn't imagine the movie to be this primitive, repulsive and disgusting? Maybe you thought this would be one of those trashy chick-flicks or a hardcore action movie for crazy gearheads? We're sorry that you feel sick now. But maybe it's the rotten popcorn or your neighbors bad breath.

[Third Picture] What a mess! (Literal translation would be 'There we have the salad!') Or did you eat anything else before this? Anyways, now you know why you had to take a Jackass Barf Bag with you to the movies. This movie just isn't for sensible people with weak stomachs. But hey, at least the bag can hold a lot of stuff.

I recently received a donation of 2 of these bags from shot glass collector David Woitasek. He says, "I found these 2 bags in a piano about 15 years ago". Wow, 15 years!!

Note missing area code

a movie named "Mark of the Devil" was released in 1984, BUT THAT WAS NOT THE MOVIE AT WHICH THE BAGS WERE DISTRIBUTED. How do I know? Well, in 1971 when I was small lad of age nine living in Danvers, MA my good friends Ron and Ralph Luscinski of Peabody, MA and I piled into the Luscinski automobile and headed for the West Peabody Cinema to see THE "Mark of the Devil" which was indeed "Rated V for Violence" and where they indeed distributed vomit bags. ALL TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How do I remember all this? Well, the movie was just WAY too violent for that nine year old little boy (in fact I remember going to that movie like it was yesterday) and I headed for the exit before the closing credits (LONG BEFORE THE CLOSING CREDITS). I remember standing by myself in the lobby and the usher asking me if I wanted to go outside for some fresh air. When I got outside I remember looking at the movie poster for the other movie playing at the cinema that weekend and it was none other than the James Bond thriller, "Diamonds are Forever" which was released in 1971!

...and that's the way it was all those years ago! Everything written here one hundred percent absolutely true and if you have any doubts I'll have Ron Luscinski e-mail you to verify same. In addition, Ron can tell you all about the movie 'cause unlike me he didn't woos-out! :o) Trust me on all this!

By the way (and on a very sad note) that West Peabody Cinema is now a SYMS Department Store! :o( )

Now what makes this particular bag authentic is the text that says "See it at the Showcase Cinema". All the fake bags (like the one above) say "See it Soon at a Theatre Near You". FWIW: I found this on eBay